Wednesday, July 10, 2013

If we had blogs in 1997: Florence, y'all

In the latest entries from the 1997-1998 European journal, the student comes to her senses about Italy. Florence can do that for you, I guess. As always, spelling, grammatical, and factual errors have been preserved.

29 Oct 1997
I guess I don't hate Italy, just Rome. Firenze was a lot better. I left around 9am this morning and walked. I saw the Palace Vecchio with the Hercules, Neptune, and Replica David statue. David was cool despite the fact the real one is in a museum. Apparently it never occurred to me to see the actual one in the museum. Then I walked to the Duomo and went inside. It was nothing after seeing St. Peter's yesterday. But the outside was cool. I walked through the leather market and ate some gelati. Malaga is a good flavor - I think it has raisins or dates in it. It's rum raisin. I saw the sites of Firenze and then went to Pisa. I saw all the sites of Florence in one morning?!?

I changed the 8 in the 28 to a 9 since they didn't mark my Eurail yesterday. You write in the date when you use a day on a Eurail pass. I had a 15 day over two months pass. Pisa was well worth the hour train ride. The tower was amazing though it really is about to fall over. They have weighted blocks on one side and there is construction everywhere. The tower is no longer moving and engineers say it has been "saved" for another 300 years or so. There are also a lot of touristy shops but the number of tourists wasn't bad (They were all at the Uffizi in Firenze) I wanted to eat at a restaurant there but it was siesta hours so none were open. I spent two hours there then took the train back to Firenze SMN. While it was fun to see the Leaning Tower of Pisa, it's not a place I need to go back to. Not like Florence or Rome or so many other cities in Italy. But you wouldn't have to twist my arm if I found myself having to go back. I was lucky because I got there about 5 minutes after the train was supposed to have left but it was late. When the lady checked my pass she questioned the dark 9 but just told me to be careful next time.

Pisa tower restoration efforts
I forgot to mention on the way to Pisa I sat with a lady and three Italian high school age girls. I thought the first stop was Pisa, but it was Empoli, so I returned to my seat and said "wrong stop". Then the girl across from me told me they had studied English for three years and still couldn't speak it, and I said the same about french. She asked me where I was going and I said to Pisa to eat good food and see the tower. Then they got off. This was worth mentioning? Then there was another stop and I got up and looked around, then the lady in my compartment spoke to me in perfect English. She told me how to get to the tower and asked what part of Britain I was from. Funny because after I told her I was American, she told me she had spent some time in Philadelphia. That was after I told her I missed the leaves on the trees changing. Finally Pisa came and I followed the lady's directions to the tower. It was amazing. After I had studied it, taken pictures, and looked at souvenirs, I went in search of food, but all the restorantis were closed. So then I left.

I still don't like this painting.
When I returned to Firenze I decided to go to the Uffizi, but then I saw the line and the price. I hate that Birth of Venus painting anyway, and I wasn't going to pay $15 to see it. I looked at the statues of all the famous Florentines outside the museum, Michelangelo, Dante, Donatello, Amerigo Vespucci (the real discoverer of America) Well, aside from the Vikings and Chinese and possibly the Polynesians who came before him, not to mention the people who were already living there! Then I saw Kristine and Colleen and avoided them just because I didn't want to see any Americans. As it is right now there are some rude inconsiderate loud ones (what, Americans loud?) next door. I hope they shut up because I want to go to bed in the next couple hours. Anyway, then I searched the city for food for two hours. The restaurants with the good pasta were either too expensive or closed until 7 or 8pm. I finally stopped and got some pizza and Coke at two different snack bars and came back to the hotel. I really want to come back and visit the Tuscan coast someday. The train ride to Pisa was beautiful. The mountains were spectacular. This region is Italy. This region I love. Tomorrow I go to Venice. I hope it's half as good as this.

I never did call Sarah. I hope she didn't expect me to call. As I was writing this, I heard a bunch of guys chanting outside. It actually sounded like a karate class. In Rome I saw Italian communist party signs, and there have been a bunch of army/navy/airforce guys all over both Roma and Firenze, and Pisa as well. I wonder if they're planning a coup. This was a joke.




















I have never been in the Uffizi. I have never been back to Florence. This is a problem that must be rectified soon. Anyone want to help me out with that? 

Monday, July 8, 2013

If we had blogs in 1997: Do you want some formaggio to go with that whine?

The student is acting like a spoiled brat in our next installment of the 1997-1998 journal from Europe. She traveled to Italy for the week long fall break and did nothing but complain. Of course, she was pickpocketed, had food poisoning, and it was raining and cold, but that's no excuse to be standing in the capital of the ancient world declaring hatred for it. As always, spelling, grammatical, and factual errors have been preserved and today's comments are in red italics.

26 Oct 1997

I just realized that I haven't written in a while. Last weekend I stayed in Lux. A lot of people did. Friday night I went to see My Best Friend's Wedding in the Utopolis with Matt, Brad M, Julia, Hans, and Mary. Then we went to Pub 13 and drank Pina Coladas. On Saturday we went to see a concert at the conservatory, then went to an Italian restaurant dans la centre ville that was too expensive for the taste of the food. It was a good weekend.

Monday's Hitler test was too hard, the history paper was crap, and the music test was too hard. It was a hectic week. Hitler test, eh? Relax, it was for a course on the rise and fall of Hitler. Fascinating class. On Thursday we went to Bizarre and had a good time. Bizarre was a bar in Differdange. I stayed home this weekend but am now on a train to Roma. I just spent 3 heures talking to an American guy from the Boston area who is here for 14 weeks. He just finished law school and is traveling through Europe on his own. I can't imagine traveling without a base. Can't believe I ever thought this. If I had the funding, I'd travel the world for years. He got off in Strassburg. Now I am traveling past some mountains in France. I thought they were clouds at first because Ohio sometimes has cloud formations that look like mountains. It's funny that I am in France but the buildings are of German design. As if France and Germany hadn't fought countless wars over territory. I'm glad I am traveling while it is still light.

27 Oct 1997

I hate Rome. Ouch, this hurts my soul. It's dirty, the people are rude, and I lost my alarm clock. I must have left it on the train. I'm pissed. My knee hurts worse than ever, I've had diarhea all day, and now I'm getting a headache. And I lost my alarm clock. Now what am I going to do. I wonder if someone stole it out of my pocket - probably on the train. I think so. I remember putting it in my pocket on the train this morning. And on the overcrowded packed train this evening...Oh, I'm so angry. What am I going to do without an alarm clock?

The forum
Today I saw the collesium, the forum, the spanish steps, and some other old Roman buildings. I will most likely never come back to this city again. I was there this past March. With food poisoning. We weren't there very long thanks to some bad food at an airport in Istanbul. I really want to spend some time there - I would live there in a heartbeat. Now there are three annoying Japanese in my room. I just want to sit in peace. I can't wait to leave this city. I traveled with a girl from Cleveland on the train last night. She's studying in Florence for the year. She was kind of strange. She gave me her address, but I'm not going to call, I don't think.  

If we had memes in 1997, this would be it: 


28 Oct 1997

The entry to the Sistine Chapel. Bad photo, but you get idea on how ornate.
The only good part of Rome technically isn't Rome - it's the Vatican. I got there about 10:30am after riding a packed bus. The first thing I did was go to the Vatican museum (after a meeting with the toilet.) There were a bunch of pots and sculptures and paintings, but the Sistine Chapel was the best. I barely looked at anything else. Next time I go to Rome, I will spend an entire day at the Vatican looking at everything else, and I'll have some knowledge and appreciation for those pots and sculptures and paintings. Then I went through St. Peter's. It was beautiful, but there were more statues of popes and saints than of Christ, which is really bothersome. And the non-Christian tourists bothered me too. I thought it would be this incredible religious experience, but I succeeded in discovering the complaints against Catholicism. Not that saints and popes aren't holy, but Christ is the reason for religion, not them. I tried religion once. Turns out it's not for me.

Obelisk the Romans stole from the Egyptians. Guess they added the cross on top.
I went down to where all the popes are buried then to the cupola, the dome. There is no sign that tells people how to get to it, I guess so they don't have a lot of people going, but Let's Go had the way. Let's Go is a budget guide book. After taking an elevator and over 300 narrow, winding, crooked stairs, I saw Rome from a beautiful view, high up, away from all the dirt and people. It was amazing. The mountains in the distance were spectacular. If it wasn't cold and rainy I could have stayed there for hours. As it was, I was wearing a skirt and sandals (and was very comfortable), which was worse when I got to icy Florence. A skirt? I guess I thought I had to dress up to go to the Vatican? In Rome, the only thing that saved my stomach was gelato. I have no problem eating lots of it. But after the Vatican, I decided I was sick of Rome, so I left. Good lord, this is ridiculous. Two days in Rome and I leave?!?

Pasta bar at the McDonald's in Rome
I went to the termini and had to make a reservation for the treni to Firenze, but the guy at the first ticket window told me to go to the Eurostar ticket windows, which I knew I didn't want. I don't think he wanted to deal with me. But I went to the Eurostar window anyway and made a reservation, telling him my Eurail was my ticket and so I ended up paying $4 to ride the Eurostar to Firenze. It was awesome, except I couldn't really enjoy it because I was worrying about what they'd do if they checked my ticket and it was wrong. But we got to Firenze right before the lady came to check my ticket, so I grabbed my bag and stood at the door waiting for the train to stop. It only took 1 1/2  instead of 2 1/2 hrs and was the most comfortable train ride. They even served peanuts. Quite a contrast to the Roman Metro.

Well, it was freezing when I got to Firenze in my skirt and sandals, and I couldn't find the WC to change into warmer clothes. I didn't want to walk all the way to the hostel I had reservations for, so I walked to one near the station, but it was full. Then I walked back to the train station and went to informazioni to get directions to my hostel. I then decided to change clothes in a corner of the train station because I couldn't walk in the cold wearing what I had on. So I changed and set off for the hostel. When I got there they told me they gave my reservations to someone else because I had not confirmed. It's a HOSTEL, not a hotel. Apparently they don't understand the idea of a hostel. I was so mad, I almost started crying. In my letter to make reservations, I had said I wouldn't be arriving until around 8pm. It was only 7pm and they had already given my bed away. So I started to panic, looked in Let's Go, and found another place in the same area. So I went there, with some difficulty in finding the place, since the numbers for the addresses had two strands of numbers running. I have no idea what this means. Then I waited for a half hour before someone came to the desk. I'm not sure if this is hyperbole. Some Italian lady who wasn't very happy came in and gave me the last bed in the place. Then another guy came in who spoke English and I got a bed. Then I met an Australian girl who's in this room, and we talked a little. Then she left, I took a shower, and it's now ten o'clock and I'm going to bed. I hate Italy. Blasphemy.

Two days in Rome. Geesh. Give me two years there. It's funny now to think about how I had no real interest in Rome back then, even though I minored in history. I'm trying to remember when I became an ancient history enthusiast, but I can't. I'd like to think that this year in Europe piqued my curiosity about it, but this post makes me question that. At the time, I was fascinated by World War II and the Cold War and didn't understand how what happened during the ancient times continues to affect what happens today; I didn't understand how all of history, all of time, is connected. I don't remember when I started catching up on Greek mythology (although I do remember a brief time during childhood in which I was fascinated by it.) I don't remember the first time I picked up Gibbons' The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. I don't remember the first time Egyptian hieroglyphics excited me. Sometime after college, though, I fell in love with it all.

Sometimes I wonder if I learned anything in college. Seems like everything I know came after it.

Friday, July 5, 2013

If we had blogs in 1997: Something Rotter in the state of Holland

The student goes to Holland and discovers the Dutch are lovers of art, as if she had never seen those dark paintings of those miserable looking people in their uncomfortable pilgrim clothes and the children that looked like miniature adults with hollow eyes that revealed no souls. For whatever reason she thought she could visit every city in Holland in two days and apparently tried to walk on every street in the cities she did get to. 

Thus I present to you the latest entries in my 1997-1998 journal from Europe. I recently purchased a printer/scanner and will be including my photos from the year as well. I had not yet learned how to take good photographs on my cheap 35mm point and shoot (that ended up breaking during the first semester, so I bought another cheap 35mm point and shoot to replace it.) I didn't take a lot of photos back then - probably because it was expensive to develop film. I think I started to learn how to take a good shot during this year. You can see my recent travel photos on my Tumblr of the same name as this blog.

As always, spelling, grammatical, and factual errors have been preserved and today's comments are in red italics.

7 Oct 1997

Just took a walk through the dreary night in Differdange after a lecture by a mathematics professor. It was quick, and he did a good job of keeping our attention (those that were there, anyway.) The day was unexciting. I got up at 7am though I didn't have class until 4:50pm. I did laundry, e-mailed (eDASHmail?), read Locke (John), and worried about money. I had to talk to Matt about money. I only have $500 left with 11 weeks to go. There's no way I can make that last. And I took two roles in for developing today. That was stupid. Plus I can't access my savings account. That's where all the money is. (What little of it there is.) I don't know what I'm going to do.

I really don't like V. She is such a snob - and she's too ugly to act like that. Oh no you didn't. But her and A. are really shallow - they're wannabes. They're the type of people that always wanted to be "popular" in high school and never were. So now they're trying to be "popular" when they are juniors in college. How transparent they are. What losers. Oh, snap...

14 Oct 1997

Traveling solo to Rotterdam/Amsterdam for the weekend was a good idea. Rotterdam was a cool city. It's very modern. I took the 4:50am train, but didn't switch at Petange and went back to Differdange then to Esch and it stopped. So I had to wait an hour for the next train to Luxville. Then the next train was 40 minutes late, so I ended up getting to Rotterdam at 1:30 instead of 11:30. I didn't go to Gouda like I wanted, or Den Haag either, but I wouldn't have had time anyway. Actually, I couldn't figure out how to get out of the Den Haag train station, so instead went to my hostel in Haarlem.

The hostel was great - there were a bunch of English guys that worked there. I was actually tired and wanted to go to bed early, but I was talking to one of them for awhile (or rather, he was talking to me). He asked me to go to a rave, but I have no desire to attend one. Then he asked me to go to a bar to watch a soccer game with them. I wish I wouldn't have been so tired, because I would have loved to go. How can a 20 year old be too tired to go to a bar with an Englishman to watch soccer? Maybe he was just ugly... Rotterdam had been exhausting. Having little money, all I could do was walk around, but I love that.

I walked around the shopping district & decided I would love to go shopping there someday. They had a lot of cool stuff. I bought two oranges & some cereal bars for the weekend but ended up eating at Burger King, mostly just to sit down and to get out of the rain. Uh huh. Getting tired of this fast food. It rains everyday in Holland. I walked through a flea market after I had basically given up on finding the cube houses, but as I got through the flea market, I saw them. Those have to be the strangest looking apartments in the entire world. After that, I walked down the river, thinking I would get to the ocean, not realizing Rotterdam is not along the ocean. It is the biggest port city in the world. This was true at the time. Singapore took over in 2002 and Shanghai took over in 2009. There's something irrationally sad about that to me. I talked to a very nice Dutch guy when I was walking back to the train station. I left the city with intentions of going to Den Haag next, but my knee couldn't take anymore walking. Rotterdam was flattened in WWII, and very few buildings are more than 40 years old as a result. There are some awesome architectural designs. There was a fountain that spit little bits of water out at a time that was really cool. I'm sure the water was actually cool. They wouldn't heat the water for a fountain.

Amsterdam - a beautiful city
I left Haarlem early Sunday morning for Amsterdam, only a 15 minute train ride. If I ever go to Amsterdam again while I'm still poor, I'll stay in the Haarlem hostel. Great price, too. Amsterdam was beautiful. It was a lot better than I expected. I thought it would be a modern city that people only visited to smoke. But I was amazed by its canals, its buildings, and its art. I was unaware it was such an artistic city, and it inspired me to take up painting. (Actually, I can't afford to buy art supplies, but I would paint if I could afford it.) I wish I would have seen the Van Gogh museum, but I got to see the art show of local artists for free, which is always good. I never did take up painting, but I did eventually get to go to the Van Gogh museum, and I drink my coffee from a Van Gogh mug. Though I didn't get it at the museum - I got it in Columbia, South Carolina. That's a story for another day.

I walked until I couldn't bare to walk anymore because my knee hurt so bad. I bought a bunch of Christmas presents and spent too much money. I ended up going home earlier because I couldn't walk anymore. I rode to Bruxelles by myself, not knowing Jared was on the same train. He saw me in Bruxelles so we rode together back to Lux. That reminds me of Sano, a guy from Amsterdam who was just returning from a month long trip through Africa. I really wanted a peaceful trainride but he started talking to me. He gave me his address and phone number and told me to call if ever I was in Amsterdam. I lied and said I would be back in Amsterdam next month.

I've been working at the school sweeping leaves in the courtyard. Last Friday I helped stuff envelopes with Maga. She made me tell her who broke the stein. Today I found out that she yelled at Brent & Grant. I fell horrible about it. I hope they don't think I'm a tattler. This refers to the injury I sustained in Munich.

It's odd to me that I didn't write more about the things I observed. Like this.Why was I looking for the cube houses? What did they look like to me? Why didn't I mention how the windows point downward and how I wondered how it looked on the inside. In Beirut, I tried to capture everything. Read the "Like this." link above to see!

Thursday, July 4, 2013

This is my Fourth of July post

Ask me what I remember about childhood Fourth of Julys and I'll tell you, as most kids will, about fireworks. We'd usually go down to the local fireworks display in a park in Englewood, Ohio and sit on the grass on top of blankets. Nobody had these nifty folding chairs back then; the blanket and the ground were more than adequate for us. You could even lay on your back and look straight up at the sky if you wanted to. On occasion we'd get to do something special for the Fourth, like go down to Cincinnati to see the Reds play baseball and watch the Cincinnati fireworks display afterwards, but usually we watched the Englewood fireworks. By today's lavish standards, those shows were pretty pathetic, though never to a child.

Photo of the Miller's Grove pool in 2011
I think we often spent the days at a pool. I remember spending at least one Fourth at Miller's Grove, where we had gone for swimming lessons and special occasions and periodically just went for a swim. There was a picnic area there where we could grill out, minigolf, and a playground for when we needed to take a break from the pool. At one point in its history, there was a drive-in movie theater, too, but that closed down in 1986, and I'm not sure we ever used it before then.

Miller's Grove has been abandoned. Children won't be spending their Fourth there this year. I don't know what happened to it, but I speculate it has something to do with video games, television, and the way American children spend their time indoors these days. There's no playing outside with the neighborhood kids; now parents make "play dates" or keep them inside to protect them from the boogeymen that roam the streets of America. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it was just a poorly run business, but if it were simply that, someone else could have bought it and turned it around.

Ask an American if he is proud to be an American and he will say yes. Ask him why and he often stumbles. "Because we have freedom" is a common answer. What does that even mean? What IS freedom?

How are you free if you won't send your child outside to play with the neighborhood children for safety reasons?

How are you free if a tenth of your entire population is in prison?

How are you free if you are in debt up to your eyeballs with mortgages, credit cards, and student loans?

How are you free when someone can walk into a school and shoot up a classroom of first graders?

How are you free if your government can listen to your phone calls and read your emails without a warrant?

How are you free if you're living paycheck to paycheck while CEOs have seen their salaries increase by 1000% since 1950? Yes, 1000%.

How are you free if you're legislating bedroom activity or telling people who they can marry?

How are you free if your foreign policy has made you the object of hatred across the world, enough where people want to bomb your marathons and fly planes into your buildings?

What is freedom?

Various definitions of freedom can cause some confusion about what the word means. For Americans, freedom usually means freedom from an authoritarian government. It's the very reason for the existence of the United States of America. It means having a say in policymaking. It means voting rights. But there are other definitions of the word. For some, freedom is a state of mind. It means being able to think without relying on preconceived notions or ideologies like religion that are taught to people at a young age as truth. For others, freedom means utopia, a world without poverty or disease or war. My favorite concept of freedom comes from Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who linked freedom with forgiveness. You can't be free if you cling to anger, hatred, and grudges.

Some thoughts on "freedom:"

Freedom is being able to vote for the candidate of your choosing with 100% certainty that you are casting a ballot in free and fair elections. Most countries in the world claim to be democratic (ever heard of The Democratic People's Republic of Korea?). We all know this is not the case. Check out this 2010 map from Nobel Prize.org using data from Freedom House:

Democracies of the world - 2010

More than 100 countries in the world are not democratic countries. But...there are 196 countries in the world, which means that almost half of them ARE democracies. If Russia and China weren't so huge, there would be a lot less red on this map. Many of these countries do hold elections, but that doesn't make them democratic. A democratic country has free and fair elections and doesn't try to suppress the votes of others. A democratic country protects the rights of minority voters - democracy is not tyranny of the majority. That SCOTUS took away that protection so that its dominant party can gerrymander minority districts and use other minority voter suppression tactics is undemocratic.

You can't have freedom while you oppress others.

Freedom is being able to send your kids to a good school without armed guards or drug dealers or teachers getting in trouble for straying from a standardized test curriculum or for trying to discipline a child. It's being able to send your kids to school without worrying they won't come home alive.

Freedom is being able to own a house without fear that banks will take them away, especially when they drag the world into a global financial crisis.

Freedom is Average Joe and Jane being able to go to Miller's Grove swimming pool on a hot Fourth of July without some vice squad telling them what to wear or separating males and females. Many heroes fought for women's rights in this country, heroes who spent time in jail, heroes who made sacrifices to promote freedom for women. Too many parts of the world don't have that. Too many parts of the world treat women as objects or second class citizens. That certain groups are trying to take away the freedom of American women makes them no different than those in other parts of the world who deny freedom for women.

Freedom is living without the thought police and people trying to turn religious beliefs into law. In one part of the world, that is called "sharia." (Here we call it the Republican Party.)

Freedom is the right to work without your employer treating you like a piece of property.

Freedom is NOT a life without consequences.

Every person in the world wants that kind of freedom that Americans claim to have. What we call "The American Dream" is the human dream. Everyone wants freedom to worship, freedom to speak, freedom to send their kids to good schools and to have a job to support their families, freedom to have a roof over their heads, to live comfortably, away from the evil grip of poverty. For whatever reason Americans think this is unique to them. It's not.

Only a quarter of Americans hold a passport, meaning that at least three-fourths of the population has never left the country. How on earth can you say "America is the greatest country" when you've never seen anything else? You'd be surprised to see how much of the world looks similar to America and how much of the world lives like Americans. It's not the "American way." It's the human way. Remember, half the world lives in a democracy. We aren't special.

I miss the time when days like the Fourth of July, Memorial Day, and Labor Day weren't excuses to wave flags and buy red, white, and blue baseball hats, when they were days to get together with friends and family and appreciate the things we have rather than shoving it down the throats of other people in the world. The truth is, we are very lucky to have been born here rather than some oppressive place on the planet, but America isn't free-of-charge. You can't just sit back and mooch "freedom" without lifting a finger to maintain it. Waving a flag and singing God Bless America and cheering for military members at baseball games isn't doing something. Paying your taxes, writing your congressasshole, participating in demonstrations and rallies, volunteering for campaigns, donating to good causes, going to community meetings, paying attention to local and national news, making informed and principled purchases, being environmental responsible...these are all necessary actions to maintain a healthy and stable democracy. People say, "freedom isn't free." You're damn right it isn't, so do your share of the work! Don't let America become a Miller's Grove wasteland.

The people who profess a love for America the most are often the ones who don't live American ideals. Put your money where your mouth is. You think America is a great place? Do something to make it so. You think America is a free place? Stop trying to ban things you don't like. You support the troops? Prove it by opposing their deployment to war.  Use this day to reflect upon your place in America. Look in a mirror and ask yourself, "Am I living up to the ideals in which I profess to believe?" That's from where "America" gets its meaning. Otherwise, it's just empty patriotism, a mere marketing slogan for a product.



God Bless America.™

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

If we had blogs in 1997: Zoo Station

The student goes to Berlin and sees a city recovering from the Cold War. The city is hopeful, alive, full of possibility, and the cranes, victory towers in their own right, represent something beautiful. She only begins to see the amazement, for the trivialities of being a twenty year old pervade her view. But she senses it, that thing for which the world strives, progress, some call it.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, why were you so bored with everything? You were supposed to stay a year but you hated everything and left after a semester. 

As usual, spelling, grammatical, and factual errors have been preserved.

5 Oct 1997

On the train going home from Berlin now. It's been a long ride, but I don't feel that tired. I'm sure I'll go home and sleep. Berlin was awesome. At least I didn't say cool. I can see how it inspired Bono and the boys to come up with Achtung baby. Yeah, the U2 stuff is starting to annoy me, too, but the Berlin stuff is important. Achtung Baby was inspired by reunification. I got off the train station listening to the album that had a profound effect on my awareness of the world. We never even learned about the USSR and Eastern Europe in elementary school - I guess they were the bad guys and not worth learning about. I have often written about remembering the sledge hammers atop the wall in October 1989 - the images I saw on cable news left a strong impression on me.  I'm just disappointed because I saw none of West Berlin. But I'm definately going back. My spelling was, for whatever reason, appalling back then. East Berlin is incredible. The buildings are still war damaged. I was pissed because we got to the city at 1pm, and all Mary wanted to do was sit around. Why did she come? But I'll talk about Berlin in a minute.

The day in Leiden was a waste. We went on a learn nothing walking tour and then saw a museum that was about sheep. I don't remember this museum, but the thought about a museum about sheep is hilarious. Then we left for Utrecht, where we listened to another lecture that I slept through. Then we went on another walking tour, saw more churches, and spent no daylight on our own. That night I went to an Indian restaurant with Steve & Jared and then to a No Drug bar, probably the only one in the city. We talked a lot about Seinfeld episodes. I felt like an intruder, but April, Valerie, and the others obviously tried to get rid of me, so I had not a lot of choice. I wish I had gone with Erika & Matt & Brad. I just felt like an intruder. Steve and Jared especially are cool. I wonder if they're gay. Jared went hiking this weekend. Steve went to Berlin. Anyway, that night Erika, Matt, and Mary and I were talking for a long time in the hostel room while everyone else either walked to the beach or was in the bar. Bird and Dusty stole beer before the bartender came. I was going to get something but then decided not to. That was in Leiden actually - Utrecht was the separate boy and girl buildings. I went right to sleep as soon as we got to the hostel in Utrecht.

That morning we had a five hour bus ride to Gottingen, Germany. I barely slept. We went through the beautiful countrysides of Holland and Germany. Holland is amazing. It is supposed to be ocean. When climate change steals the world's coastal areas, The Netherlands is going to be the richest country in the world because they know how to make land out of oceans! There are many canals - Leiden et Utrecht were beautiful - and there are also many windmills dotting the countryside. There were two in Leiden. And Germany is beautiful as well - especially the towns. Each town has a church as the central point. The only part of the  bus ride I slept through was crossing the border. It never ceases to amaze me how you can get through borders like you're going from Ohio to Kentucky. We got to Gottingen and went straight to the hotel. I shared a room with Jennifer S. We were late to a lecture, the best lecture so far because it was brief. Then Tony took us on a pointless walking tour. The city of Gottingen is cool. It's exactly how I pictured a German town. We ate an awesome dinner at the Ratskeller restaurant underneath the Rathaus building. I drank three beers there. Then we went back to the hotel. Well, first I followed April & Kate & Valerie to a McDonald's (ugh). I experimented as much as I could by ordering a beer from McDonald's. It was piss water beer. Why again I didn't go with Erika, Matt, and Brads, I don't know.

But the bus ride back was fun. All the bus rides were cool except the one time Dusty & Grant sat up there in the front. The bus was awesome. It was a double decker pink bus with a crazy driver named Felipe. The choice of music wasn't the best all the time, but it was ok. Anyway, even Matt O was drunk. He kept calling for the "blue mood lights." Then we got to the hotel and headed for the bar. It was a great time. Erika, Matt, Brad M and O sometimes were sitting at a table. We played Euchere and talked and watched Matt H and Mary drink Bailey's after Bailey's. Mary is really anal about everything - but Matt H is friends with her. I puked in the bar bathroom but didn't tell anyone. And now I'm telling the whole world. Matt O kept buying people drinks. I went upstairs and took a shower and then slept for three hours before I had to get up again to go to Woffenbuttel to go to some library of old books. Some library? It was opened in 1572 and includes among its 900,000 books 350,000 that were printed from the 15th to the 18th centuries. Something I would love to visit today! I felt sick and took a long time in the bathroom of the library and was very embarrassed when I saw the long line complaining about the smell. Lovely. We drank far too much beer on this study tour.

Then we took the bus to the Braunschweig train station. Erika invited me to go with them to Berlin, so I did. Her and Brad had to buy tickets, so we missed the 12:57 and left at 2:08, which arrived in Berlin 50 minutes late. So we missed all the festivities - Oct. 3 is the day of German reunification - 8 or 9 years ago. We ate at an Italian place then went to find our hotel. It was an hour away and quite a walk from the last bus stop. I thought we would never find it. But it was nice. We played two games of Euchere then crashed. I got up after 8am & took a shower in the bathroom. There was no curtain or wall to stop the water from getting all over the bathroom floor. It was very entertaining. Then we had breakfast. We had to steal some for Brad because we only paid for four beds. Then I got pissed. Matt & Mary were laying around and wouldn't leave. We ended up getting out of the Zoo Station after 1pm. We took the U2 (train line) from the Zoo Station to East Berlin. We barely walked anywhere before stopping at an open air market. Matt & Mary again sat down. Then the four of them went to TGI Fridays. I bought a brat (the sausage, not the child who lives above me) and walked around for an hour. It didn't take long to learn disdain for American chain restaurants. Sadly, many of the students did not. This time I would not give in. I found a great open air market and bought a 98 U2 (band) calendar and a little soccer player made out of computer chips that I will probably give to Sandy (my sister) for Christmas.

I met them back at Fridays then we split up again and i went to some more booths. I bought a DDR button from a coat. I almost bought a Soviet hat. I wanted to buy a hat but they were all expensive. But the stupid U2 calendar was ok to buy? Really? Something I could get in America? A man tried to sell me a commorative coin of the fall of the Berlin wall, but it was too expensive. I walked through the streets of East Berlin. It was depressing but cool and beautiful at the same time. This part of the city had never been allowed to become modern. There was graffiti on every building.

When we met up again we went to the Brandeburg Tor, then to Checkpoint Charlie, the last big part of the wall still standing, and to the Checkpoint Charlie Museum. We got our passports stamped with a DDR entry stamp for 1DM. Mary & Brad didn't go into the museum (but did Mary want to do anything?) We finally started to head west about 8pm. I needed to go to Hard Rock. We went and saw the Victory Tower where the Stay video was filmed (more important to me than the victory in the Franco-Prussian War or the fact that the Nazis moved it to ignite German nationalism.) Rolls eyes. Mary kept complaining that she had to go to the bathroom, but was picky about them. We walked forever (a port a john every 10 metres left from the parade the day before that we watched on tv from the train station.)

After the Victory Tower we finally caught a bus to the Europa Center and walked to Hard Rock, which had a ton of U2 stuff, including one of the ZooTV cars and Larry's cymbal.  I took a picture but don't know if it will come out. I bought my Berlin pin. Guitar pin. Bought one from all the Hard Rocks back then. Ok, so I have one from Beirut, too. Shh, don't tell anyone. Then we went to KFC for dinner. Succumbed. Fail. Then to Zoo Station to await our 11:23 departure. We ran into the others in Berlin, unfortunately. Me & Erika had a compartment to ourselves and managed to get some sleep. We changed at Frankfurt, which is a big city with real skyscrapers, as opposed to fake ones then went to Koblenz along the Rhine River. It was the most beautiful train ride. The leaves were changing colors, the sun was out, the fog was dancing on the water, the buildings were awesome, and there were many incredible castles. Now, though, I want to sleep. Forgot to mention Hard Rock Cafe in Antwerp and Big Boy. Planet Hard Rock and no Big Boy is the truth. Not a Hard Rock Cafe, just used an awning with the logo and they had a statue of Big Boy outside. It was the funniest thing; I couldn't stop laughing at it. No one else thought it quite as funny as I did. It still makes me laugh.

Separating from the group and touring around on my own gave me a sense of freedom and allowed me to see more than I would with them. It was something I'd come to enjoy. Others saw wandering as pointless; they wanted itineraries and schedules and reservations. But you don't get to know a place by following guidebooks. You have to wander. You have stumble upon the places locals go. My best travel experiences have been these discoveries: a local bar, a strange store, an odd house. So many  wonders go undiscovered simply because people are afraid to stray from the beaten path. You also get to meet people this way, people who can show you and teach you things you'd never get from a guidebook. If you're lucky, you get new friends out of it, too.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

On student loan debt

If you read this blog, you probably know that I've been posting my journal from my year abroad in Europe in 1997-1998. It was the opportunity of a lifetime, and I cherish it.

But I still  haven't paid for it.

I have the equivalent of a year's worth of student loan debt (in 1997 terms). I stopped trying to pay it. Here's the story.

After I graduated from Miami University in 1999, I participated in a graduate-level program on the political economy of the European Union. It was a six-week course held in several European capital cities. We learned from economists, ambassadors, journalists, political scientists, members of parliament, and business professionals. This was the course where I learned about the importance of building institutions for democracy to thrive, a lesson I would later apply to my career in international democracy and governance, with a particular focus on the Middle East North Africa region.

My intention was always to pursue a post-graduate degree. I had in mind that I would work for a PhD in political science in a discipline related to international affairs. (I didn't know what democratic governance was then, but I now know that's what I wanted to do.) The European seminar was just the beginning of that; however, I graduated with a year's worth of college debt. I had done well enough in school that I received nearly three years worth of scholarships and grants, but that still left me with about $15,000 of debt upon graduation. I was 22 years old. That was a frightening number to me back then, and I was afraid to take on more debt for my post-graduate studies. I also knew that to get a job in Washington, which is where I had always wanted to go, I had to take an internship before I would be hired as a full-time employee anywhere. Being interested in international affairs, I took a three-month internship at a peace and reconciliation center in Ireland.

But I felt pressure from my parents to get a job. I needed a way to fund my education and I had to do something that would enhance my chances of getting into a good school. I was leaning towards university of Chicago, which, in hindsight, wouldn't have quite fit my wish to pursue something in international affairs. Chicago is one of the best schools for political science, but it is better for American politics. I should have been focusing on SAIS or Fletcher School. Anyway, one day I was sitting on the couch our living room trying to figure out where to go and what to do, when the telephone rang. The man on the other line asked for my sister, who was not at home at the time and I told him this. Instead of hanging up, he began to talk to me. He was a recruiter for the United States Army.

He asked me questions about myself, about school, about my future, and I admitted to him that I wanted to go to graduate school but I didn't know how to get there. That's when he told me about the GI Bill. Not only could I get money for my education, but I could also learn a foreign language for the Army - I was particularly interested in Russian - and be stationed in Germany. How could I pass that up? It was everything I was looking for.

I enlisted. I learned neither Russian nor was stationed in Germany. I didn't even finish out my initial contract. I tested too high on the language aptitude test for Russian and was instead assigned to Arabic. I finished the Arabic course but it turned out the Army wasn't for me and I was honorably discharged after nearly three years of service. But I didn't get my GI Bill money.

I did have a highly valued skill, though, and I packed up my car and moved to Washington DC. It took me eight months to find a job after I turned down an offer from the NSA out of principle. (I could not in good conscience work for the Bush administration.) I took a minimum wage job while I tried to look for full-time work, which inhibited both my job search (people, searching for a job is a full-time job, with all the research and letter-writing and resume tweaking you need to do) and my ability to pay the bills. Washington is an expensive city. You're not going to find a place to live for less than $1000 except in unsafe parts of town or in terrible living arrangements. I couldn't pay my student loans.

I had several hardship forbearance arrangements, during which interest still accrued. When I finally found a full-time job, I was only paid $28,000 a year before taxes. After rent, food, transportation, and other necessary expenses, I didn't have anything left. I used to go around to DC conferences and panel discussions that had free lunches so I could eat. The day before paydays I would often write checks - back then checks weren't instant transactions so you could write them a day before you had any money without fear they would be cashed.

I was promoted after eight months in that organization and with that came a pay increase. Over four years I had several pay increases. It was enough where I could afford to start making payments on the loans, but the payments weren't enough to cover the interest, and each month the total owed was more than it had been the previous month. So I gave up. Why am I going to give away $50 that I need if I'm not going to make a dent in the total?

I had an opportunity to go abroad for awhile, so I left that job. I had grown frustrated with not getting promoted despite the fact I had developed programs and worked with grantees and at times seemed to be the only reason the department functioned. The final straw really was when a program I had developed that was to be held in Tunis with the promise that I would get to run it was given to a new hire. I suspect it had everything to do with her having a Master's degree, as if my four years in the organization wasn't enough to learn the field. Three bosses in four years and a lot of department reshuffling left me as a glorified copyeditor. I fell into depression and it became difficult to focus on my work. So I left the job and the country for a few months.

I should have foreseen the economic downturn, because it took me a year to find a another job after I returned. It was a great opportunity and I got to live in Beirut in the process. I made a decent salary and once again attempted to start on my loans, but I still couldn't pay enough a month to make a dent in them. After two years, the organization folded, and I was left without a job. I did some consulting in Beirut for awhile but couldn't make enough to live on, so I returned to the US and remained jobless for four months. In this time, I couldn't afford the loans. They fell into default.

At this point I don't see myself every being able to pay them back. I was hired at the highest salary I had ever had two years ago but worked with a crazy lady (really) and left in a mutual agreement after seven months. (I was the fourth person in that position in five years to leave because of her.) It only took three months to find my current job, but I took a $9000 pay cut, and I'm living paycheck to paycheck again. At this point I owe $5000 more than the original loan total. My credit is shot, I'll never see another income tax refund, and the total will just continue to rise. I never went to graduate school and probably never will because I won't be able to get a loan, and because I can't get a graduate degree, I will never be paid as much as my colleagues with them.

The worst part is that my story is a dime a dozen. Actually, it's worse now, because college is more expensive than ever, and the economy isn't producing jobs with decent wages. All it takes is one misfortune or miscalculation to fall behind forever.

And Congress just let student loan interest rates double.

This is how out of touch with us common folk those rich bastards are. At a time when it's difficult for new graduates - or anybody, really - to find jobs with liveable wages, interest rates should be ZERO. In times of unemployment and economic hardship, interest rates should be ZERO. Instead, at a time when people are viewing student loan debt as a crisis, they DOUBLED interest rates.

The approval rating for Congress is TEN PERCENT (who are these morons who approve?), but they continue to ignore the will and best interests of the people. Despite the spreadsheet error in the Reinhart-Rogoff paper, Republicans in Congress continue to cling to their austerity ideology. They're such assholes that they don't give a shit if holding out in the name of their ideology hurts the country.

I am a productive member of society. I pay my taxes without complaint. I participate in the electoral process. I've worked in a field that isn't glorified with high salaries. I have a great resume with excellent references. I have seen a lot of the world. I wouldn't be where I am today without my education, especially my year in Luxembourg. But I feel like I'm being punished because I wasn't a member of the privileged class.

Isn't it time we fight back?

Maybe everyone should just stop paying their loans in protest.


Monday, July 1, 2013

If we had blogs in 1997: I still don't know who Christophe Plantin was

Leuven...City Hall, if I remember correctly.
The latest installment from my "If we had blogs in 1997" series is about the bizarre study tour we took through Flanders and Holland. The way the program worked is you had one core course, presumably in your major or related to it, that was worth four credit hours plus two additional hours for a research project. The core courses each took a week-long field study trip to someplace in Europe. At that time, there were two core courses offered - one in political history and another in educational psychology. Being a political science major, I elected to take the political history course, which originally was supposed to be some sort of course that had a photography project to go along with it. At the last minute, however, the professor had to withdraw from the school, and they had to scramble to find someone to take his place. Enter Tony Steinhoff. 

30 Sept 1997

Second day of the study tour today. I'm sitting on the bus in Antwerp waiting for departure to Leiden. Saturday night I went to a restaurant to celebrate Robert's birthday (he paid for everyone). It was a pretty good time. Sunday the bus departed for Leuven. Our bus is cool - it's a pink double decker. The bus ride up was nice; we played Euchere with Tony. He's hard to figure out. He's a very nervous man with a quick temper. But he seems cool.

Tony Steinhoff. First year professor, now Associate Professor at University of Tennessee Chattanooga. Droning lecturer. Tough grader. Stealer of souls. Check out these rating by his recent students.

We spent a nice night in Leuven. Went with April and Kate and Brad R, Brad M, and Matt H. We were just looking for a place to go (place means bar), so we just picked a place. Then we went to the place next door, then a place across the square. Then another place, each time having a different beer. Belgians are really proud of their beer, but I didn't think it was that great. Ha! Famous last words! It was a good time, then we went back and Brad, Brad, & Kate, and I stayed out and talked for awhile about everything. It was the best conversation I've had since I've been here. Then yesterday we walked around Leuven for the morning and then had to sit through a lecture and a tour of the university before taking off for Antwerp. We went to an awesome buffet restaurant after we checked into the hostel. Everyone got drunk on wine, including Matt O, the student activities coordinator, Tony, and Felipe, our bus driver. Then we went to a cool puppet show that was in Flemish, so we had no idea what it was about except that Christophe Plantin was the main character. Christophe Plantin was a figure in European political history. We went to a museum for him and he was a central character to the study tour. The tour had such a profound impact on my life that I couldn't tell you who he was without googling him just now, though there was something to do with a printing press...I do remember at one point near the end of the tour a student asked "Who is Christopher Plantin again?"

But during the puppet show the evening's mood was changed. People were being obnoxious in the theater and on the walk back. I was so embarrassed. I was fuming on the way back to the hostel. Then there was the bar in the hostel. That pissed me off. I was one of the first people at the bar, but one of the last to get my drink. So I was pissed about that rudeness too. But a shower cured that mood, because the showers were funny. The water only stayed on for about five seconds.

Today we had to listen to two lectures and then tour the city for four hours. I had a Belgium waffle which was great. Belgium waffle. Ha. We saw an awesome church that survived both world wars. Yes - Europe has road construction - we just went through it in Den Haag. Good lord, you'd think I was in a destitute third world country. Antwerp is definitely a place I would like to go back to. Alas, I haven't been back. I want to take a summer trip to Flanders and do a lot of biking, so I will get there one day soon. There is so much art there and we had no time for ourselves there. We are already a half hour off schedule because Tony allowed for no traffic - and we left Antwerp at 5:00 and had to go through Rotterdam and Den Haag traffic. His schedule is way too tight.

Now I am about ready to go to bed after an evening (though brief) in Leiden. Now we're in Holland. When we got to Leiden (late, of course), we went straight to go eat. But a lot of stupid people had to use the ATM machine before the search of restaurants (which there were plenty of). Ooh, what a crime, having to get guilders when entering The Netherlands for the first time. I guess I had guilders on me. I take it this was my lesson learned from not having gotten lira before going to Italy? Then April & Kate & Valerie & Dana went to an Italian place (so adventurous) while me and Brad R went to a Pancake place (native to Holland). The "clique" was in there, but it was ok. The pancakes were awesome. I had a pineapple pancake the size of a pizza. Brad had a tomato/cheese/onion pancake which was pretty good too. The people there were great too (employees, I mean). Then we found a cool pub with half price beer. And Achtung Baby! which was my favorite part. We talked about owning restaurants & then Steve & Jared came in. And then a bunch of other people came in, including Kyle, who said, "I guess we came to the wrong place" when he looked and saw who was already there. What an asshole. I'd like to confront him about it. But John & Scott were there too. So it was ok. This reads like an episode of Mean Girls, or at least what I think an episode of Mean Girls is like. But come on, what a dick thing to say.

After sampling three Dutch beers, we had to go back to the bus and the hostel, where the Clique had the bar taken over and some idiots walked a half hour to the beach. And now, here I sit, at 1am, six hours away from wake up.

Flanders is a great part of the world. Food, beer, people, architecture, art, beaches, history...everything I love is in that tiny part of the world. I have planned a trip that involves biking that I'd like to take in the next few years. Just waiting for the budget and vacation time to line up. Funny thing is I'm not sure I would have ever gone there had it not been for this study tour. I mean, when Americans think about going to Europe, they think about Paris, London, and Rome, not Antwerp and Leuven. That's a shame!