D'OH!

In a contest between Americans' knowledge of "The Simpsons" and what they know about the First Amendment, Bart and Homer win hands down.

About 1 in 4 Americans can name more than one of the five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment (freedom of speech, religion, press, assembly and petition for redress of grievances.) But more than half of Americans can name at least two members of the fictional cartoon family, according to a survey. The study by the new McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum found that 22% of Americans could name all five Simpson family members, compared with just 1 in 1,000 people who could name all five First Amendment freedoms.

Only one person in the entire sample group could name all five First Amenment Freedoms? And only 22 could name all five of the Simpsons?

The survey found that while 69% of people could name freedom of speech as a First Amendment right, just under 1 out of 4 people could name freedom of religion. Only 11% knew freedom of the press, 1 in 10 could name freedom of assembly and 1% named freedom to petition for redress of grievances, the survey found.

What's wrong with the other 31% who can't name free speech? Are they those members on the right like Ann Coulter who don't believe in freedom of speech, therefore it does not exist in their minds' eyes?

The survey found more people could name the three "American Idol" judges than First Amendment rights and were more likely to remember popular advertising slogans.

Sieg Heil to Corporate America!

It also found people misidentified First Amendment rights. About 1 in 5 people thought the right to own a pet was protected, and 38% said they believed the right against self-incrimination -- commonly known as "Taking the Fifth" -- was a First Amendment right, the survey found.

Is this the America we are supposed to be proud of, an America who cares more about television than the greatest document ever written by man, an America who is so freaking stupid that they think the right to own a pet is guaranteed in the Constitution? They spit on this document while they sit on their fat asses watching their inane television shows. No, these people are not Americans; they do not deserve the freedoms they take for granted. I am ashamed to be an American if this is what being an American has become.

For the record, I like the Simpsons. I just have the ability to comprehend that respecting life and liberty is much more important.