“You are all a lost generation.”

I meant to publish this Thursday:

"It was like certain dinners I remember from the war. There was much wine, an ignored tension, and a feeling of things coming that you could not prevent happening. Under the wine I lost the disgusted feeling and was happy. It seemed they were all such nice people." Chapter 13, pg. 146 The Sun Also Rises

Today, the bulls come out.

As I do on occassion, usually during July when I'm feeling the weight of missing out on another summer in Europe and when Fiesta in Pampalona is in full swing, I picked up my copy of The Sun Also Rises and put myself at a table with Jake and Brett and Robert and Bill, drinking wine and absinthe, soaking up the Spanish sun... such sweet sadness in the story, such fun misery.

I'm not really doing anything I want right now. I like my job, but it is only indirectly related to my life goals. Although I am gaining valuable skills and experience, I'm not sure there is much room for growth in the organization. Call it arrested development, if you will. I'd rather be frequenting the cafes of Paris, writing novels and enjoying life like Europeans do. Right now I am busy trying to sort through the circular maze of logic in which life incarcerates a person, and American politics is a nonsensical part of this maze. Truth seems to be relative; it can be twisted and spun until you no longer recognize it. Rove, for example, is a certified asshole. He would ruin lives for votes and has no conscience. Yet gops rush to defend him as if he were an angel. And where are the Democrats in all of this? Come to think of it, where are the Democrats in anything? Are they even in Washington? Do they have anything better to do than criticize hidden sex scenes in a video game?

I'm sick of this administration, sick of it more than most of the bush haters out there. I'm sick of it because it exhausts me. It stresses me out. I'm sick of the theocrats, the flagwavers, the crooks and liars, the people who have to rub everything in your face... I'm sick of people who think their way is the only right way, people who are unwilling to compromise, people who are selfish and who want to exploit others... sick of namecalling, hatred, anger, bigotry... sick of warmongering, people who won't own up to their mistakes, people who aren't willing to give an ounce to people less fortunate than themselves.

One last thing- to anti-government people out there, I say this: government isn't the problem. Governance is the problem. And the governance going on in this country is corrupt to the core.

Sigh...