They call me linguist

How is it that Republicans have been able to hijack language? They've taken the extreme elements of certain groups and turned them into a stereotype, however wrong they may be, and they used these definitions of people in their propaganda to the ignorant masses. So now, feminist means one of those women who don't bathe and like to make up stupid slogans to shout at men just because they are too ugly to get some. They spend all of their time on their anger rather than working for real change. (If you couldn't tell, these types of people piss me off. Signs and protests are just part of the battle- they are supposed to serve as rallies for further action, not as a "something-to-do" event.) These people are not feminists. Feminists are people who work to narrow the gender gap or to prevent domestic violence or fight for equal rights. Susan B. Anthony was a feminist. I dare Limbaugh to call her some of the things he says about feminists. Jesus Christ was a feminist. Come on Limbaugh, say something about Him.

Environmentalist is another bad word in gop dictionary of hate. Just because some people go and sit in trees when corporations try to cut them down doesn't mean it is bad to want clean air and water.

Liberal, of course, is the epitome of evil in the gop lexicon. Never mind that liberal really means "free". The red state masses don't understand language, so they have to resort to repeating what they hear on talk radio. I like their explanation for why studies show that the higher a person's level of education, the more liberal one tends to be. They say that "conservatives are discriminated against." See, one goes to school to LEARN. By the very definition of conservative (conserve the status quo), learning is bad. Learning opens a person's eyes to new ideas and understanding. But those who don't want to learn, who want everything to be as they were taught in their sheltered little suburban homes, automatically shout "Commie!" when a college professor teaches about Marxism in Poli-Sci 101. Some resort to putting gold, I mean, red stars on the office doors of professors.

It's much more difficult to use their extremists in this manner. After all, how can Christian be a bad word? Wingnut is name-calling. Religious right does imply some sense of irrationality in those whom it describes. After all, if they have to make a distinction between the right and the religious right, there must be something wrong with them. Along the same lines, we can't make capitalism a bad word, because it is the best way to run an economy if done correctly. So, we need to devise new terms for the fringe of the right and try to stereotype whole groups. Let's look:

Christian right- We can turn Evangelical into a bad word by putting an -ism at the end. Evangelicalism will accurately describe what it is to be an Evangelical- an ideology. Using this term will free us from the whole "anti-Christian" label we are given when we criticize those who are cracked out on god. I personally prefer Evangelical crackheads, but, you know, regular crackheads might be offended.

(GOP) Capitalism- We need to change this to corporatism, again using the -ism to describe an ideology. This idea first came into play under Mussolini, where the corporate state played a main role in fascism. The business elite in America are running the government; therefore, we have a corporate state. Capitalism will be used to talk about real capitalism, you know, the one that consists of small businesses, which are the backbone of America.

Libertarian- How do we connote the selfishness and the irrational worship of the market god? I don't know if the masses understand what a libertarian is. Personally I wouldn't mind libertarians if they had a social conscience, but if they had a social conscience, they wouldn't be libertarians, because they would realize that the "bootstraps" b.s. that they tout is as utopian of an idea as Marxism. To libertarians, there is no gray. There is only black and white. Relative is a bad word to them. We could call them marketmen as in, "The marketmen praised the cuts to food stamp programs today, saying it would stimulate growth in the economy." The "men" is inherent to the meaning, as it accurately portrays the chauvenism that is prevalent in the business community.

Texas businessmen (and their crooked buddies in other states)- This one's easy. "The Enrons lobbied for a bill today giving the death penalty to any poor person who can't pay his taxes."

Red staters- We all know that when we say red states, we are mostly talking about those small town hicks who do nothing but watch reality television and take prescription meds for "ailments" they don't really have but asked their doctors about since they saw the ads on t.v. While keeping the term "red state" to describe conservative voting states, we can call the uninformed gop masses premeds. "The premeds voted for Carrie to be their American Idol."

I am sure I've left out a group. I may update if I think of another.